I miss my father September 6, 2007
Posted by Diadem in : Lessons in life , trackbackMy father is celebrating his 94th birthday this September. Yes, you read it right, he is that old! He was 64 when I was born, and he died when I was 19, three months before my graduation in college.
Unlike my other siblings from his first marriage,
he missed many important events in my life when I was 17 because he was senile and suffered from stroke. But I enjoyed his company when I was growing up. He always brought me to my siblings in Bulacan and Manila, who were either older than or of the same age as my mother.
I am the youngest from a brood of 12. Ten are my half brothers/sisters, and I have one full blood brother, who is three years older than me. Being the youngest gave my father the opportunity to pamper me materially and emotionally. He gave me extra money whenever he received his salary from his carpentry work. He even instructed me “not to tell your mother!” He encouraged me to use it for my extra curricular activities in school, which my mother did not want because it drains our family budget.
He taught me to read the Bible and involved me in church activities. I was six years old when he encouraged me to join the church choir, making me the youngest and smallest member of the Junior’s Choir of the Iglesia ni Cristo’s locale in
He patiently taught me and my brother how to swim in an irrigation canal near the farm of my lolo, while my mother did the laundry. When I got frustrated because I could hardly learn how to swim, he gave me a bicycle ride and toured me around the farms.
Very hardworking, my father also supported the schooling of my two half-sisters from my mother’s previous marriage. He considered them as his own, and dearly loved his grandchildren, thus endearing him to all of us.
He never showed up in my school activities unlike my “stage mother.” But whenever I performed on stage, I could see him at the back quietly cheering for me. He never told me how proud he was, but when he talked to his friends, I could always hear him uttering my name so beautifully than its literal meaning – a precious jewel, a crown, or a badge of royalty.
Whenever our friends teased us by saying that my father was a “grandfather” because he was even older than my mother’s father, he made us realize how lucky we were than most because we had a father and a grandfather rolled into one!
He may not be a perfect father, but to me, he is the best father who always gave us an extra push to give our best shot in everything we did, and who understood us more than anyone else. He was a father who remained quiet whenever we were in trouble, but fervently prayed for our victory. No one could ever replace him in our hearts.
I am just too sad that I enjoyed his short presence when I was 18, while other teenagers were enjoying talking to their fathers. At that age, I was taking care of him, telling him stories that would remind him of who I am, and that I am his daughter. I even needed to shout and repeat many times what I was telling him to be understood. And I needed to listen to him carefully because his words were so inaudible as if he was always tongue-tied.
With his condition, though with a heavy heart, I prepared myself that I would have to let him go. After all, he has done his role well as a father and as a “grandfather” to all of us.
How I wish I could share with him my modest accomplishments. How I wish I could buy him something – from my salary – straight from the heart. How I wish he is here as I face greater challenges …listening to my stories…reading my articles…cheering me up when I am lonely, and laughing with me when I am happy. He truly made me for what I am now!
To all fathers, “fatherhood can be so different in so many ways, but one thing is universal – what fathers do … matters to children.”
For those out there who still have a father, cherish every moment with them, for you don’t know when they will leave you. You may not realize now how important their simple gestures are, their gentle touch, strict behavior, and “corny” jokes at times, but later, you will realize how he made your life wonderful, meaningful, and colorful!
Ama,I love you and miss you!
*While writing this, my tears are literally flowing from my eyes and longing that somehow I could still hug my father. ..
Comments»
That’s nice… ur really such a great person…
I am touched with your story. I am silently crying while reading about your father. Thanks for reminding us the joy of still having one, though they are sometimes neglected by us, their children.. I am sure if he only sees your achievements now, he is the first one clapping his hands. Nice article!
Hi art and camille! Thanks so much for appreciating this article (-:
Nakakatouched tlaga story u neng… Tumutulo na talaga luha ko habang binabasa ko to… Naaalala ko tuloy father ko… Ako rin kasi apple of the eye ng daddy ko… Kudos for this very touching and inspiring article… You’re on your right path neng… Carry on the great job and achievements… Lagi mong tatandaan na minsan sa buhay u, naging friend mo ako at forever na d2 ako para sau… Hwag kang makakalimot ha. Take care always… God Bless…
Hi, ‘neng, ang ganda ng kwento ng buhay mo. I also like the way you expressed it - engaging. Wish you happiness in the next episodes of your life. Ingat ka lagi ha.
Hi Joebel,
Thank you for seeing the “colors” of my life! Take care, too.
I really loved reading this article; it made me realize na I shouldn’t be angry and matampuhin to my “everdearest father” for just doing the things I, my mother, other significant people, and God don’t like. I just wish he could still leave the things and concentrate on how he could be more responsible to his families. We know that nobody’s perfect, right? Anyways, in other aspects, my father’s the best! And we can always count on him.
Dem, you are so lucky you had your father who loved you so much. Eventhough you could no longer be with him physically, I am sure he’s always watching over you happily because he sees you being so beautiful and successful. Stay cool and happy, ok?
Thank you sallee for visiting my site (-:
Thank you for sharing!
Hi.
You are more beautiful than I thought. Your faith, courage, perseverance, humility, industry, love and respect are rare virtues
only few had been endowed and that must be emulated.
Wish I saw you when your seventeen. Joke. More power to your blog!
Thanks so much Ronald. You’ll know me more in Australia!
such great love for the father!may daughters like you sprout like mushrooms…Ü
hi diadem
how are you…its me fem we were classmates before during elementary days ..do you still remember me.. your such a beatiful person inside and out kahit nung elementary tau maganda at mabait ka na..i really love your article ,your story and im touch , im silently crying while reading it.. nagflashback tuloy sa isip ko during dat days na napakasaya mong kasama .. hope to see you agen
Hi fems,
I miss you, too. Thanks for remembering me.
I am happy that somehow my stories have touched your heart. And I also remember our elementary days where we played “chinese garters” and jack stone after class .. hehehe.
Hope to see you when I get home this christmas!
yeah chinese garter and jackstone …and sipa ha ha ha …what more? patintero and that tumbang preso…
anlayo na nang narating mo fren.. and thanks i thot d mo na me kilala ..yah hope to see you..jaz text me 09068800727..
Back in college, we used to laughed out loud each time Dem would tell us how his father would always be mistaken for his grandfather. A particular incident i could not forget was the one that involves Bema, the granddaughter of her landlady where she asked Dem innocently “lolo mo!” referring to his father during one of his visits when we were freshmen. We giggled a lot about it which I guess is natural for girls our age back then.
But what i could not foget was the day Dem’s father died, when I was unexectedly tasked to tell her that her beloved father has passed away. It was a few months before graduation and we were rushing and anxious to finish our research work (Dem & I used to work together in our major papers).
It was a busy week for us and Dem was scheduled to visit her ailing father. She asked me to call her sister to tell them that she wont make it over the weekend. We were laughing because there was a little white lie in it. But during the phone call I was never prepared for the news when her sister asked me to relay to her that her father is gone.
I was speechless…my mind was rushing trying to figure out how on earth will i tell before her smiling face the news. With controlled tears and the phone hanging on my hand i told her. Right before my eyes..I saw the smile in her eyes faded and replaced with grief. She cried……
Together with our friends we dined on Shakeys on Wheels. We do not know how to console her but it’s the least we could do to comfort her. In between dinner, we shared jokes and we witnessed Dem’s grief. She managed to laugh with us but I know the loss of his loving father aka lolo shall remain in her heart.
hi!Dem.grabe frend nakakiyak naman miss ko n tuloy ang papa ko,congrats,ang galing mo talaga!gud luck n lang s mga susunod n blessing pang darating sau!mis u!
thanks so much bol. Our father will always be our father, no matter what.Kakaiyak nga hehehe.
YOu are lucky you still have your father. Give him extra care care and love always.
Ingat ka lagi.
I am proud of you classmate (like Lea Contapay said), for sharing the beautiful story of your father. Magaling ka na talaga sumulat praktisado ka raw kasi sabi ni Hannah. Noong mawalan ka ng tatay ako naman nawalan ng lola. That time kasi namatay ang lola ko na lagi ko kasama sa bahay niya mula grade 6 hanggang fourth year college. Gaya ng ginagawa ng father mo binibigyan din niya ako ng pera palagi na ginagamit ko naman sa mga extra currilar activities ko gaya ng pagsama sa mga student organizations. Dahil sa nasulat mo naalala ko naman ang lola ko, siya kasi ang simbolo ng pagkakaisa ng Regal family. Para siyang reyna ng isang kaharian at ako naman ang paborito niyang apo. Talaga naman di natin makakalimutan ang pagmamahal ng mga nag-alaga sa atin, sayo ang father mo na mahal na mahal mo at super proud naman for you. Ako naman mahal na mahal ko ang lola ko na nanay naman ng tatay ko. Nakakalungkot din na wala na sila. How we wish they are with us. Forever your father lives in your heart. He is your inspiration and a source of joy. No one is like him. For me missing your father shows your need of presence and love of a real man. To your boyfriend who read this. Prove your love to Dem, ang hindi kumukupas ang ganda at talino na classmate namin noong college. We wish your happiness.