Keeping My Sanity June 26, 2009
Posted by Diadem in : Lessons in life , trackback 
My research requires me to go to the field almost every day. I am under the heat of the scorching sun when it is sunny with my favorite blue jeans and white shirt. I walk in muddy fields when it is raining with borrowed farm boots from one of the farmers’ sons in the community where I am working. In my interviews with farmers, I capture their aches and pains. In an instant, I become part of their humanity.
On my way to the field from my boarding house, I see different faces of poverty. I hear and feel the roaring thunder of bombs in nearby conflict areas from my research site from time to time. I hear crime issues (kidnapping, theft, murder, grudge, and family feuds) as I open the radio, watch TV, and hear them from jeepney passengers every time I go to the market to buy food. It’s quite stressful. I even questioned myself one time why I am still here and what I am doing here. Is it worth my sanity?
Not only that, when I get home in my rented house, I have to do household chores – I clean the house (I’m a bit obsessive-compulsive when it comes to cleaning), cook lunch or dinner after coming from the field, and oh my, I have to bear the noise of young people playing basketball one meter away from my house. Would you believe, they play basketball as early as 5:00 AM and end after 9:00 PM? Grrrrr…
Sometimes, I also encounter uptight people who make my day horrible.
And just recently, my laptop bugged down. I lost some of my files. My external drive was infected with virus. I have to transcribe, encode again some of the data that I gathered during the last six months, and most importantly, I lost some of my research and travel pictures!
If I dwell on all these experiences, I would probably end up in a mental hospital. In times like this, I talk to myself, always convincing myself that life is not a life without difficulties, without challenges.
I cry, of course, when I am really devastated. I will lock up myself in my room, cuddle my pillow, and close my eyes to talk to the One above. I tell Him how I feel straight from my heart. I talk to Him like a friend. After that, I am fine again.
Also, when stressors are around, I remind myself that things like those happen for a purpose. I always try to be optimistic. But when things get under my skin, I just keep silent, not burst or say things that I can’t hold back or regret afterwards.
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy. Huh, when I am stressed, I go to the beauty parlor. I treat myself with a foot spa, hot oil, haircut, or a soothing Thai massage. I don’t want to look ugly just because I am stressed.
When I am not in the parlor, I sometimes go to a shopping mall. I buy myself a pair of shoes, dress, and cutie earrings. If not, I indulge myself in buying DVDs from sidewalk vendors (ssshhh, pirated) and indulge in a movie marathon (I usually buy fantasy and love story movies). Sometimes, stress also sends me to the kitchen and experiment on cooking anything.
See? I have 101 ways in countering life stressors because I believe that, really, maintaining our sanity is 100% personal choice that nobody imposes upon us except our selves! Being an own choice, our sanity is “the most essential piece of machinery we have if we are going to live the lives of human beings.” I don’t want to be a loser. Writing and sharing my life story always keep my sanity, too!
Comments»
WOW! Az in! This article is a life guide! I should bring a copy of this anywhere I could be, he he he. Galing galing talaga!!!
ma-imagine ko man langam frend….
from the young diadem I know mas malalim na yung maturity na narating mo though ganyan na na din dati….nice piece of work!
although my stress could not be anywhere near the levels you are going through, i could say that many of your s”tress relievers” are like mine. that’s why i always make it a point to always have quiet time. kung hindi, mahirap na. borderline pa naman katinuan ko. hahaha.
great post ate dem. kayang-kaya mo lahat ng yan.
Ang buhay talagang ganyan… kung yan ang pinili mo dapat lang na iyong pagtiisan… kahit saan ka naman pumunta yang mga nakikita mo dinadanas din ng karamihan… di man sila magkatulad pero magkasing anyo din sila… mapalad nga tayo kasi ang kalagayan nila nakikita lang natin, iniintindi, hindi talaga natin nararanasan….
Hay buhay talaga… tayo nagmimithi ng kalayaan at kasaganaan… pero ang di natin alam isang ideal na lugar lang yan… isang malaking kulungan na malaya kang maproon at mapasaan….
Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. c”,)’
i’m learning from this post…what i love about research is the process,i bet you know why…tc always ate!
hi can you pls contact me i love your blog
talsheri@yahoo.com